Seasons connote a geographical phenomenon for all of us. Different
countries attach importance to particular seasons as per their location and
culture. But if you are an Indian, you must, certainly, be aware of the two
seasons which are the most tumultuous, conflicting and have far reaching impact
on your life. These seasons are: ‘The Admission Season’ and ‘The Wedding
Season’.
The other day I visited my friend’s house and was shocked to see the
whole family engrossed deeply, rather fiercely, in a heated discussion about
the choice of subjects which their son was to take in class xi. The scene
looked more like a battle field—with the engineer father vehemently supporting
the engineering stream and the mother and son duo suggesting ‘commerce’. The
boy was pleading and giving reasons and arguments for fulfilling his desire of
becoming a chartered accountant. Father was threatening them with dire
consequences. It took me quite some time to listen to their arguments and convince
the father from an educationist’s and teacher’s point of view about the right
course to be taken in the best interest of the child.
Why do Indian parents, especially fathers, have such inflated ego that
they turn everything into a personal issue and become too pushy? Why should
they put people and society at a higher pedestal than the interest of their own
child?
Recent suicides by students
taking coaching for IIT JEE, are a direct consequence of this growing parental
pressure which every student bemoans. During my teaching career, I have
counselled many such parents who forced their children to perform well for
admission in high-stake universities and international competitions whereas
their children were unable to clear even basic science and maths papers in +2
Boards. No doubt, parents’ interest has a positive association with children’s
achievement but unrealistic expectations create pressure and foster performance
anxiety in their children. It also makes them prone to stress, cheating and low
self-esteem.
Such decisions must be taken keeping in mind the student’s capability, health
and aptitude. Psychologists and counsellors offer a variety of aptitude tests
these days which make things easier for parents and students both. The mindset
that an engineer’s son/daughter must become an engineer and a doctor’s children
should also follow their father’s profession, has to change. The job-market is
flooded with a variety of new jobs and professions in tune with the changing
needs of society.
When the ‘Admission Season’ is over, the young men and women complete
their studies, become self-dependent and are ready to tie the knot .Then
commences the ‘Wedding Season’ and the demon of parental pressure raises its
head again. Although the scenario has quite improved in this field, still every
other day we hear about suicides by young lovers under the pressure of their
parents, ‘Khap- Panchayats’ and society in general. It is high time we rise
above caste and religion and realise the value of every individual’s life.
Undoubtedly, all the parents have right to guide and counsel their
children but it should not become a prestige issue for them. If a child takes a
stand, he/she is branded as a rebel and sometimes disowned and even denied
access to his home and family. What a great blow and wound on the psyche of an
individual!
On one hand, India has technically advanced by leaps and bounds and on
the other, half of our population still has the portals of their minds closed
with no room for justice, fair sense and value for human life.
You must be wondering at this deep connect between ‘seasons’ and the
lives of millions of young men and women of India. I would conclude with the
words of Tagore where he prays to God and seeks for his countrymen:
“Freedom from the burden of the ages, bending your head,
breaking your back, blinding your eyes to the beckoning
call of the future”
